The unofficial DmC joke thread

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I noticed the divided fanbase on the forum (and basically every forum that has to do with this game) and wondered if there were a way to tone the hate and anti hate down?
then it hit me , what if instead of hating on the game we just make light hearted jokes about what we do and don't like so far?
so this thread is just to make some jokes about the game
so i am going to post some links to help us in that goal and i want you to post what you made/found

Demotivational maker : http://diy.despair.com/

Dude's got some big leather chaps to fill.

All this problem needed was Dante to wear a cowboy hat.

Lets hope someone gives Dante a years worth of pizza for surviving this.

Instead of white hair, i want Dante to have red hair just to see the look on people's faces.

Ok I got one
this Dante is the result of
a demon/angel breed and since angels and demons are enemies they
coul make a prequel
to this by rewriting Romeo and Juliet

The best joke of all is when Capcom decided to show this reboot to the world.
Ooooh burn! Lol

original dante was gonna do dmc5 but then he took a ninja to the theory lol sorry had to do it

EDIT: The wonders of "Contrast." Sorry it's so pale still.

I cant even see that.

EDIT- looks better.

Hmm... Let's see here....

You want to know why Dante looked like he just got out of a bar fight? Because he met me.

Limbo City isn't after Dante, it just so happens that I have a criminal record in the city and the feds have been looking for me.

The demons are pulling Dante into Limbo, they are actually taking him into a hair salon to get his hair bleached. Why else would the demons have big giant knives for hands?

That black goop coming from the walls is actually the dye Dante uses for his hair.

For those of you who don't know, Ebony and Ivory are transgendered in this game.

And that's about it for today.

So DmC is Dante's Haircare Nightmare?

This what happens when the girls taking turns doing his hair.

Basically yes. Think about for a second, all those demons actually represent the DMC fanbase and they want to get Dante to get his hair white again!

What do you get when you cross a demon with an angel

someone who looks completely human!

it is nice to see the thread is serving it's purpose
what do you admins think
just remember to keep it light hearted guys we are trying to avoid any kind of arguments (disagreements are fine as long as respect is shown)

That... is a really good point. Especially since expect Sparda and the anime, neither angels nor demons actually look even vaguely human.

If you have heard this one than stop me kratos, Dante and new dante walk into a bar and then the video game version of Dante alighieri goes in with his date, bayonnetta

And then Nothing happened next because I could not come
up with anything funny

One of those is not like the others.

Do you have any idea what a wuss poet author!Dante was? The amount of weeping and fainting he did puts Nero and Kyrie combined to shame. About a hundred times over.

"Kratos, Dante and new Dante walk into a bar. Then Bayonetta and her date the video game version of Dante Alighieri come in." <- That's more like it.

actually the divine comedy was good

You already have.
1) Dante Alighieri is on a date with Bayonetta (what the hell happened to Beatrice?).
2) New Dante is actually walking into a bar with Kratos and hasn't pissed him off yet (because the dude looks like he can **** anybody off).

Now to finish your story:

Kratos, the two Dantes, Alighieri, and Bayonetta walk into the Ultimate Hardasses Bar, where all the most badass and epic video game characters meet. All of the most famed characters are seated in a circle with a single chair in the middle. The new Dante sits in that chair.

"Alright listen, kid." The original Dante says, "You're new here, you understand? And you're already causing a fuss." All the other characters nod their head in agreement.

"So here's what's up," Bayonetta interrupts, "there's this new guy named Asura about to come into town and he's a pretty hot guy. He's a demi- god, which makes him powerful enough already, yet he's kicking the crap out of all the other gods around him. The only two God- killers here are myself and Kratos. However, you are rumored to be an up and coming God- killer yourself."

"So here's the deal," Dante speaks, "I'm a demi- demon, you're an angel/demon hybrid, which makes you a crap ton alot more powerful than me. I'm already getting my butt whooped by Kratos and Bayonetta, so I need you to step me up. You understand?"

"Yeah, I'll do it." The new Dante says nervously.

"Good, so I only have one question to ask..."

"Yeah?"

"Are you a virgin?"

"Yes..."

"Then all hope is lost...."

"I feel pity for you, Dante." Kratos pats the original Dante on his back.

"Don't rub it in, Kratos."

Wow your ending was better than mine

hey railazelel We have plenty of room for a sitcom in the fanfiction section starring these guys as the main characters