Sign up to disable those pesky ads. Ch. 4 Nero had to stop running in order to catch his breath. "White hair?" he thought. No one told him Red had white hair too. "Who is that guy?" he whispered. Worse, he would be after him. He now that monster he set on Red would not be strong enough. Well, now that he knows Red has white hair. There can only be one explanation for that. "Nero." a voice called from behind. Nero turned slowly and looked as a dark man came toward him. "What do you want, Arkham?" Nero spat. "I know what you are thinking." the other man, Arkham, replied. "You think you and Red are the same, but don't worry. I know where you're loyalties lie." "What's that supposed to mean?" Nero sneered. "You said Red's a demon and that demons that can't be controlled are dangerous and need to die. Why else have we been hunting him all this time?" "That is all true-" "Then why the hell does he have white hair?" You were the one that said that white hair is the sign of an angel." Nero began to shake with rage. "Tell the f*cking truth for once." "Hey's coming." Arkham said simply and walked away. "Get back here!" Nero yelled and reached out to grab the man with his Devil Bringer arm, but it went right through Arkham's body like smoke. Nero doubled back in surprise. He felt his chest with his other hand: his heart was pounding. He sneered and fingered his revolver, Blue Rose. "He's coming huh?" he turned back around to examine the road. He saw a young man with white hair wearing an old raded red coat walking toward him. "Hey you!" Red called. Nero stood his ground: his hand firmly on his gun. "You got some explaining to do." Red continued as he strode to him. "Get back!" Nero yelled as he aimed his gun at Red. Red stopped short. "Go ahead, man." he snorted. "It would make it easier for me if you just killed me. It would save me a lot of trouble trying to figure everything out." "Shut up, Demon!" Red looked at him closely. "What? What did you call me?" "A demon. That's what you are." Red could feel his heart pounding in his chest. That would explain how he never got sick or how his wounds would always heal quickly. It would explain a lot of things, but- no. No it couldn't be. Red had to stop himself from wiping the sweat from his brow. It tickled as a bead dripped down his nose. "Heh, you expect me to believe that?" Red shrugged it off. "Well," Nero wasn't sure what to think, so he fired his gun at Red." *** Red woke up lying on the ground. His head was killing him. He examined the room he was in: trying to find a clue as to where he was. The walls were concrete and void of any signs, paint, pictures, or really any homey touches. His heart sank when he saw the metal bars in front of him. "I guess I'm not dead or I wouldn't be in prison." he groaned as he sat up. is head really did hurt. It always hurt once his wounds healed themselves. Red smiled about the time he broke his leg a few years ago. He wouldn't have cried then if he knew at the time what getting shot in the head felt like. Red staggered to his feet and waited for the room to stop spinning. He shuffled his feet over to the cell door and looked out. The walls oozed with something he didn't want to know the name of. There was a dim light hanging from the ceiling and in the center of the room was a table. A man Red thought couldn't be more ugly sat there, tapping a book he had balanced on his knee. "Do you know where you are?" the man asked Red and he didn't answer. "How about my name? Or your name?" Red stared back at him. Truth is he didn't know his real name. He knew it wasn't Red. The man nodded slightly. "That is to be expected. I am Arkham." Red looked at him carefully. He couldn't imagine forgetting a face that ugly, buy he really couldn't place him. "I assume you want to know what you are doing here." Arkham stood up. "Simple we want to test your abilities. Measure your demonic power so we may be able to use it ourselves." "What are you talking about? I'm not a demon." "Your eyes tell different." Truth is Red was finding it harder and harder to believe he wasn't a demon. Arkham opened the cell and grabbed Red. He tried to fight back, but Arkham brought his fist down on Red's neck. He fell to the ground and Arkham dragged him out of the cell.
It would be more helpful to tell me where the mistakes are instead of just pointing out that there are some.
uh srry for late reply.so one is in the beginning when arkham say's "hey's coming" when it should be "he's" and you wrote "is head really did hurt" it should be "his" and lastly "buy he really couldn't place him" when it should be "but".so yeah thats it from what i remember but minor mistakes
Ch. 5 Red slowly opened his eyes. There was a dim light hanging above him. He heard voices muttering nearby. He tried to turn his head but couldn’t. He was strapped down to a table. A man loomed over him. He was smirking at Red. Arkham came over as well. Red could hear gears moving overhead. His eyes widened in terror as a sword lowered from the ceiling. It stopped inches above his stomach. “Do you know what this is?” Arkham asked. “It is called Force Edge. It is a devil arm. They are the only weapond that can kill a demon. You guns Ebony and Ivory are others.” “You’re going to kill me?” Red tried to keep his voice steady, but was failing. “No. That would be a waste. We are going to unlock you inner power.” There was a loud clank and the sword lowered. It pierced Red’s stomach and dug through him. Red withered in pain. He felt pain before, but nothing like this. This was real. “Dante.” A low voice called. “What?” Red thought. He could hear the voice in his head. “Your name is Dante.” “My name is Dante.” *** “Dante!” a boy shook Dante. He opened his eyes and groaned. He saw the look on his brother’s face and jumped. “What is it Vergil?” he panicked. His brother didn’t have to explain. A woman’s scream came from down the hall. Vergil opened the door to their bedroom and peaked out. Lying lifeless in the hall was the body of a blonde haired woman. Vergil almost let out a scream, but Dante pulled him back and locked the door. “We gotta go!” “But Mommy!” Vergil cried. “We have to go.” Dante repeated. He opened up their bedroom window and climbed out with his brother close behind. They ran down the street as fast as they could. There was a loud shriek behind them and they turned. A six-legged monster was crawling toward them. Its eyes were fixed on the two brothers. “Run!” Dante yelled and pushed Vergil. “Dante, what are you doing?” “Just go!” Vergil turned and ran as fast as he could. Dante held his hands up like they were pistols. He would pretend he was using the guns his father left him sometimes. Now more than ever he wished he actually held them. The monster leaped and collided into him. Dante lay on the flat on the ground: staring up at the sky. Men were circling around him. One of them came forward and bent down. His eyes were two different colors. “You will remember none of this. Not even your name.” *** Red woke with a scream. A red blast of light shot out of him. The sword was thrown from his body and the restraints were broken. He sat up, swung his legs over the table, and stood up. He went to hold his hand to his head, but stopped. He stared at his hand in horror. His hand was black with red claws. Thick metal plates covered his forearm. He looked down and saw his feet were the same: his talons dung into the ground. He looked around the room for a mirror and found one. What he saw was a black demon with red and black armor. His face was monstrous with sharp fangs and horns coming out the side of his head. Behind him were black wings. Red eyes stared back at him. There was no denying it anymore. He was a demon. Dante felt like he was going to be sick.
A sickening feeling was building up inside of him. He could almost smell the vileness that reeked from his black soul. He was faster and stronger. He could survive a blow to the head. But he was a demon. He was a demon and he’d trade the strength and endurance to be human. He’d give anything if it meant not being a demon. Dante ran down the hall, passing door after door, until he reached the end. He burst through and surveyed the room. There was an anger building up that was not his. He wanted to smash something. To hurt. To kill. None of this was his, but he felt it anyway and that terrified him. Arkham turned slowly and looked at him. “That’enough.” He said and fired his gun. A blast of water light came out and Dante fell to the ground; his body withered in pain. It felt like one thousand needles were stabbing him at every point of his body. Sweat glistened on his forehead. Once the pain stopped he opened his eyes. Arkham was standing over him. “Did you enjoy it? It’s a special weapon of mine. It kills demons in one hit. For a half-demon like you it simply forces you out of your demon form.” Half-demon? “Now get up.” Arkham stepped back and Dante sat up. All the pain was gone from his body, but he still shook as he stood. What was that? Once he was on his feet Arkham fired another blast. Dante was on the floor again. “It also causes excoriating pain.” Without breaking eye contact Dante rolled onto one knee and tried to get up, but he was shot again. “So sorry,” Arkham stated “but before we proceed I have to make sure aren’t able to fight back. Demons like you are dangerous and have to be controlled.” “You….prick.” Dante forced out. He held his side with his one hand. Arkham still had his gun aimed at him. Dante would have to be quick. With all the energy he could muster, Dante reached into his inside pocket and pulled out Ebony, one of his guns, and fired. Arkham fell to the floor, his gun flew across the room, and his arm was bleeding. Dante forced himself to his feet and stood over the other man. He took his other gun out and aimed both of them at Arkham. “You think I’m dangerous? You killed my mom. You erased my memory and sent monsters after me. You even killed the only people in the woman that loved me. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to live.” Arkham didn’t say anything. “Hey maybe even go to school. Have a place of my own and a family. You call that dangerous?” Arkham still didn’t say anything. He simply looked at Dante with his discolored eyes: studying him. Suddenly there was a gun at Dante’s head. He looked out of the corner of his eye at Nero. “What? You want to save this prick?” “Step away.” Nero said coldly. “You aren’t gonna touch him. Not until I know the truth.” “About what?” Dante sneered. “About yourself? You’re a demon too, kid.” “Don’t call me that. I’m not a kid.” “You’re a demon though?” Dante smirked at him playfully. “Shut up. You’re the demon. Not me.” “Oh come on.” Dante turned to look at him. This was Arkham’s chance. He kicked Dane in the leg and scrambled up as Dante fell. Nero continued to aim his gun at Dante as Arkham strode over to his own gun. “Come on.” Dante said to Nero: ignoring Arkham. “He’s the one that you should be pointing that gun at. He’s been playing you.” “I’m not interested in your bullsh*t.” Nero yelled, but he wondered if it was true. He knew in the pit of his stomach that he was a demon like Dante. Arkham had lied to him. But could he trust Dante? “Nero, right?” Dante asked. “Yeah.” Nero responded after a moment. “Did you ever hear the phrase “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”? Arkham had since retrieved his gun and was now aiming at Dante. Nero looked at Arkham. “Nero, don’t you want a life away from this guy? Find yourself a nice girl or something?” “There is someone…but…” Nero lowered his gun.” “Nero, raise your weapon.” Arkham said to him calmly. “But…” Nero redirected his gun at Arkham.” “What do you think you are doing?” Arkham asked. Dante used this as an opportunity to stand up and aim his guns at Arkham as well. “You forbid me to see her. You said humans weren’t worthy of angels. But you lied. I’m not an angel and you know it.” Nero cried. Cornered, Arkham backed away slowly. “Demons cannot be trusted. If I let you be with her, you would have killed her.” “Never.” Nero grinded his teeth. “You’re nothing but lies.” Arkham held his gun firm. Dante snorted. “You know, our guns do more than just cause pain.” A loud crash sounded behind them. The door blasted open and a killed demon’s body was flung aside. A group of men ran in. The last one to enter had white hair that was slicked back out of his face. He looked exactly like Dante. He raised his hand and the other men pointed their guns at Arkham. “Nowhere to run.” Dante smirked. Arkham shook his head. “Hm, you don’t get it do you?” He turned to look at the leader of the new group. “This is not the first time I’ve outrun you, Vergil.” He said before throwing down a small bottle. It opened and a cloud of smoke surrounded him. Nero made a desperate shot, but knew he had missed. Once the smoke cleared there was nothing left of Arkham except for the broken glass on the floor. Everyone lowered their weapons and looked at one another. The other white-haired-man, Vergil, looked at Dante: “Brother” he said flatly. “Hey.” Dante answered. Suddenly all the memories of his twin came flooding back. He smiled broadly as Vergil walked toward him. “I trust you remember me now?” “Yeah. I had to get stabbed in the gut, but I remember you.” “Good.” A very thin smile appeared on Vergil’s face before it vanished again. “I’ve been looking for you for years. I even asked The Garriths to take care of you if they ever saw you.” “What? You knew the Gs?” Dante asked. “Yeah. They took me in the night the demons attacked us. They were friends with our father.” “Figures….” Dante shook his head. He still couldn’t believe they were dead. “Come on.” Vergil said and turned away. Dante looked at Nero who shrugged. “I guess I’ll come too?” “Yeah.” Vergil responded. Nero ran up alongside Dante and they group walked out together. The sun had since come up. Dante wondered how long he had been inside. In fact, he wanted to know where the hell they were. None of it looked familiar. They were in some sort of warehouse district. He glanced over at Nero who was eyeing Vergil in awe. “So,” Dante addressed Nero. “Who’s this girl?” Nero’s face turned bright red. “Kyrie.” He muttered. “Where is she now?” “With her family. Up north or something.” “Why don’t you go to her?” “Oh come on! I dumped her a few years ago. What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Kyrie, the reason I dumped you is because I thought I was an angel and couldn’t be with you, but I’m actually a demon’?” “Sounds good to me.” Dante laughed. Nero’s faced turned even redder.
Ch. 6 Dante sat twirling Force Edge in his hands. He examines the blade with a sense of disbelief. Everything was explained to him. His father was the legendary dark knight Sparda. He remembered growing up how he never saw his father. His mother was a strong woman that took care of him and Vergil on her own. She never seemed stressed or anything. He remembered the one time he asked his mother about his father. She looked at him and smiled and said that she was proud of him. That was enough for him. In fact, knowing that his father saved the human race and fell in love with a woman like his mother made Dante feel better about being a demon. He heard stories of demons attacking people. Hell he was attacked his whole life. Knowing that his father was an honorable man made it…easier. He wished he knew his father. No one knew what happened to Sparda after he closed the HellGate. In fact, he’d think regaining his memories would be strange, but for some reason it wasn’t. He went most of his life wondering who he was and now he knows and it’s…normal. Like the memories were always there just waiting for him and the bottom of his mind just waiting for him to open the door and pull them out. Like he never truly forgot. It was a nice feeling. Knowing who you are. Now if only Nero knew who he was. That was one thing he was determined to do: to help Nero discover himself. He was clearly part demon or he won’t have white hair and that arm of his, but how much. And why? And how at all? It’s funny. All his life Dante wanted to know who he was. Now he does and he’s okay with it. Now Nero is in the same spot he was. Dante knew how much it can hurt not knowing. He hoped Nero’s truth was as good as his own.
i'v read it all and wow its fantastic....awesome job....your one kickass writer .....but i have a few marks...1) why did u have to make nero cry and all that like 4....u could have made him even cooler...and 2) when vergil woke dante up and all...vergil screaming mummy! and dante telling vergil too run... ahh i cant see that cuz dante is younger then vergil and besides vergil is more stronger and more calm then dante even when they where little!! so you could have twisted that part a little different...